Right, so on January 9th, 2009, I had the worst day of my life.

I was well-prepared for this day, but I thought that God would have the mercy to end my pitiful life on this day rather than turn it into an agonizing anal gang-bang of pain and suffering.

This is my story.

So I started this day at 7 in the morning, awaking so that I could get a shower, a good breakfast and all the nifty little things needed to start the worst day of your life. After that I got my emergency bag containing all the food, warm clothes and other nifty things I'd need to make the worst day of my life as comfortable as I could craft it, because as I said, I knew it would be a terrible terrible day.

So I start my trek to IVCC, alone, the first time I've driven an extended period of time by myself, and I finally get around to about Marseilles and turn right onto the road. As a silly person, I attempted to turn left onto the interstate.

At the wrong left and soon saw myself on a collision course with a car coming off the interstate since I was on a path to the wrong way, which would be truly terrifying, a trip on the wrong way of the interstate.

So I made an illegal u-turn, and made a nifty little circle, waved at the guy I almost plowed, and went on my merry way. So I finally get onto the interstate, and since I don't listen to the radio, I sing. I sing a lot of things, but mostly BONGO BONGO BONGO I don't wanna leave the Congo, no no no no no no!

Don't ask.

When things get particularly bad I sing the same songs but replacing all the words with various forms of curse words. From everything from old 50's music, to Christmas Carols, to the music from The Wizard of Oz. I know, I'm odd.

Anyway I'm driving on the Interstate for about 10 minutes, following this truck when a hunk of crap falls off the back of the truck. I, thinking it is a piece of slush, or some other non-harmful thing run it over. And I get a flat-tire.

So I try to ride it out for a couple seconds to see if something was stuck on the wheel, then I pull over and investigate as massive trucks zip past going 70 miles an hour, and I see my glorious flat tire.

So I call up a good portion of my friends, and my father, and get my blanket out and a pop-tart and start playing cards as I wait for my dad to come bail my ass out, and he figures out that his car-jack is broken and he has to use his emergency car jack to jack up the car and change the tire on the Interstate.

A very bad experience, so after all that's done the tire is changed and I start going again to school, only to find out within another 30 seconds that the spare tire is flat as well.

So I pull over again, wondering what the chances of that are, and my dad pulls over too and he checks it out, swears a bit, and I get in the truck.

So next stop is wal-mart, since I was stranded within about 10 seconds past the second exit to ottawa we had to go all the way to Utica to turn around and go back to Ottawa to get a new tire, so we tell the guy the story and we wander wal-mart for about an hour. They were out of Magic Cards.

So we finally get the new tire and get back to the vehicle, and change it.

On the Interstate.

After that I continue on my way and get lost about 3 times on the way to the school, but finally manage to make it, thus coming close to ending the worst day ever, at about 2 p.m.

There's a bit more, but that's another story.




As for today, however, I was driving to IVCC, and on the way back I met my arch-nemesis No-Pass Ned.

Sometimes I make buddies with the other cars on the road with me, even if they don't know it, and I write them songs. But not No-Pass Ned, I wrote him a very angry, unhappy song, because I do not like him.

It goes a little like this:

DIE MOTHAFUCKA', DIE MOTHAFUCKA, DIE!!
DIE MOTHAFUCKA', DIE MOTHAFUCKA, DIE!!
DIE MOTHAFUCKA', DIE MOTHAFUCKA, DIE!!

NO
PASS
NED!!

Yes, my mouth is excessively filthy when I get stressed out and all alone, but that's who I am.

Chaos.